Pre-Occupied And Stuff

I've been remiss with my blog postings because I'm obsessed with the upcoming presidential election and focusing on that. I hope many of you out there in the blogesphere are too and are prepared to vote your conscious on Nov 4th. To not do so, makes you a very bad American. Couple my political obsession with the fact that It's fall and my escort business is heating up (as it always does this time of year) and the fact that I'm shooting like made for my day job and well, i know , i know excuses, excuses but there ya have it...

So in light of my neglect here are some things i thought i would bring to your attention:

Swop Chicago did a great little video about Knowing your rights as a sex worker. Its aimed Chicago providers but its got info that all sex workers should check out as well as some awesome role-play reenactments and rad cop glasses...poor bubbles

h/t Vixen of the Spread Blog

Sex workers in TJ are getting charged more for STD and HIV testing. its being called "immoral and scandalous" by Victor Clark Alfaro, director of Tijuana’s Binational Human Rights Center. It also could increase the risk of spreading STDs, as many girls may try to forgo testing to save on expenses. Think about that next time you wanna hop the boarder for a super cheap piece of ass

Both Brad Pitt and Google Step up in support of NO ON 8! the California proposition trying to overturn the the rights of gay couple to marry in California. If Google and Brad can do it so can you, NO ON 8!

Planned Parenthood says its received $802,678 in donations in Sarah Palin's name. The Viral email campaign started a couple weeks ago when emails started to circulate on how to make a donation to Planned Parenthood in the Name of the conservative VP candidate who doesn't believe in a woman right to choose.

You can make a donation at this link
Have them send the card in Sarah Palin's honor to:

McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street 1st Floor
Arlington , VA 22202

On the subject of the GOP MaCain says "horseshit" during the debates which makes him the first candidate in a televised debate to use profanity.

On Bob Cescas Goddamn Awesome blog there is a particularly great comment by a deaf lip reader "FrictionSoul " who breaks it all down for you. Im all for cursing but not during a presidential debate. Does that mean when McCain disagrees with some head of state he's gonna go ape-shit lose his cool and curse at him? Yeah that's great diplomacy.

I prefer to leave my cursing for this blog and for when I'm getting fucked really, really good...usually from behind ;)

So you wanna be a hooker?

Every time there's a big mainstream media article about Hookers i get contacted by young hopefuls asking for advice on how to get into the game of pay for play companionship. With Radars recent debacle (hipster hookers my ass) the amount of mail I'm getting asking for advice is off the hook. So to save myself from having to repeat myself over and over to inquiring minds i thought id share some of my words of wisdom, advice, warnings, ramblings or what ever you wanna call it.

My first bit of advice is: DON'T DO IT.
There are girls who have stellar reviews and long standing reputations who are not making ends meat right now. Wanting to get into the escort business at this time is like wanting to get into the employment game after 911, there is little work. The economy is bad and its an election year which always causes work to cease.

If you still want to brave the bad economy and heavy competition here are some things to think about.

Get a professional website: Make sure you have a stats package so you can see where your referring hits are coming from. This will be really helpful, you can see where you advertising efforts ie dollars are paying off and converting to clicks to your site. You want to work smarter not harder.

Get professional pictures: Makes all the difference in the world. Classy pictures attract, classy clients. Skanky pictures ... well you get the picture.

What will you do for money: Don't let anyone talk you out of your comfort zone ... ever.

Screen Clients: You need a way to be sure someone is who he says he is so you don't get into trouble and you need to make sure someone isn't scary to see. This is VERY important, always screen potentials. You need to become a JR private eye. You must be 100% sure of who you are seeing, if they don't screen, then don't see them. Never drop your guard no matter how broke you are. Don't get greedy.

Watch the competition: http://www.eros-guide.com look at the ads for the girls in your area, see what they charge how they present themselves. Who do you want to be?

Treat it like a business: Be professional in your dealings with others. Investments of time and money are necessary to be successful, as with any business.

Keep your personal information PERSONAL: Be careful who you trust, its an isolating business, it can get tough, you often feel like you live in a bubble and will want to reach out to others in the subculture. Chose your friends wisely. This is a cut throat business and there are lots of people who are nuts attracted to it. You are who your friends are to some degree, someone else's rep can spill over to you. Someone with your personal information can really hurt you. I was outed, its not fun, it can be devastating.

Don't quit your day job: Living off the grid is difficult, you want to appear as normal as possible. Its tiring to be an escort and have a day job but in the long run you will have more to show for it.

Besides all that, i go back to my first bit of advice... I don't recommend ANYONE do this.

It's not easy money, you work HARD for it and it takes a toll on you physically and emotionally. It makes real interpersonal relationships hard... for most, impossible. You have to lie to the people you love and care about on a daily basis and that is a very hard thing to do, it gets much harder over time, living a double life is not easy. Its a risky business (emotionally, physically) if you insist on being an escort you need to work smart and minimize your risk. Not everyone is cut out to do this, you have to be able to compartmentalize your emotions, you have to be able to reject societies stigma, its not glamour and glitz, it has its moments but this is job and a job with real risks.

Escorts are risk managers, we have to be its how we survive.

Help me, Help Me!

I went to the Opera last night to see "The Fly". Its a new Opera based on the movie The Fly. The opera was directed by David Cronenberg (naked lunch, crash, the dead zone) who was also responsible for the 1982 film of the same name. Composed Howard Shore acclaimed film scorer (Lord of the rings trilogy, the aviator, ed wood, the cell)

I love The Opera. I know insert Pretty Woman joke here, but I'm Italian, very Italian... as a child Opera was often played in my home as i sat on the floor and built my Barbie Dream House©. I grew up with it and it resonates with me. I go to the opera whenever i can, but it's expensive and I'm spoiled. I like good seats, I like to dress to the nines and sip champagne, i go to the lectures before hand. That means i don't go as often as id like to, so when an old friend called me up to see if i was interested in being his date i jumped at the chance.

The Music was just amazingly beautiful and the story is a good one, mans struggle with humanity with a big healthy helping of love triangle on the side to round it all out.

This particular opera is significant because its something new, its based on a film, its macabre, its got sex scenes and best of all nudity! full frontal male nudity i might add. I think its a direction opera needs to head if its to invite new and younger people into its fold. This isn't a re-staging of the same old opera you've seen 100 times. It is a fresh take on Opera, a collaborative effort by ultra creative people from different mediums coming together to make something new.

Now the bad news, it falls flat and for two reasons. Its fatal flaw is the libretto written by Henry David Hwang. Is meandering and slow, it cops out going for a cheap laugh time and time again, really there's very little melody and rhythm in the libretto (in the words of Big audio Dynamite "all the matters these days is rhythm and melody"). To a lesser degree its doesn't push the envelope enough its as if they were afraid to offend the blue hairs with really going for a dangerous and macabre look into a mans horrifying transformation into a fly. Insect politics was especially disappointing as that could have been the crown jewel of the whole piece but again its as if the jockey was on the horse but refused to give its head so it choked before the finish line.

Oh well, i applaud the effort and hope this trend in opera continues. Plus i always enjoy spending time with old friends who know me for who i really am. I didn't have to be "Jenny" last night, i only had to be me. Add to that a little opera, a little champagne, a charming companion and I'm one a happy, happy girl.

http://www.theflytheopera.com

Do Your Homework!

Escorts get researched. Experienced clients spend a little time and effort and there are resources available to them to research a potential escort. Message boards, review sites, websites, blogs. Often he can contact her previous clients and get the real lowdown. Is she's really what he's looking for? Is she legit, does she have a reputation, is it good or bad, is she flaky, outspoken, fun or crazy. Is she independent, work for an agency, does she up sell, is she a GFE, a Pump and dump, or a high dollar hottie. He can view pictures, read accounts of trysts with other clients, etc, etc. Goggle can really be your friend on this one, there is a wealth of information to be had out there when you do you homework.

Escorts are a big ticket item, clients are laying down a pretty penny on the table, so you have to do your homework. It's is a common recurring theme, especially in this failing economy when you want to get the most bang for your buck. You hear it repeated over and over... DO YOUR HOMEWORK.... Some might call it a vetting process.

All of that got me to thinking about McCain and the GOP's selection of Sarah Palin, Gov. of Alaska as his Vice Presidential running mate. When the announcement was made the nation and the media was taken by surprise. Sure she was on the list but way, way down on it and the idea of a little know extremely inexperienced small town mayor and current Gov of a low population state was never taken seriously by any one with critical thinking skills. The general consensus was she was a far right wing fundamental Christen and that her inclusion on the list at all was to appease the fundie Republican base. "See we care about you, we included this far right fundie" so when the announcement was made, it made the Medias head explode (mine too i might add) no one knew anything about this person. So the press did what the press does.. They vetted her on their own.

Websters defines vetting as: "to evaluate for possible approval or acceptance"

I saw Tim Kaine Gov of Virgina on the Daily Show make a passing remark about the Dem's vetting him for possible inclusion on the Obama Ticket. He said they wanted to know everything about him, even to the point of the middle name of his first girlfriend. It sounded like a grueling but necessary part of the political process. It makes since though, much like how you want to minimize your risk when hiring an escort to make sure you make the correct choice, a political party wants to do the same thing in a VP pick. Only it's turned up to eleven!

So the Mainstream Media and the not to main stream began to Vet Gov Palin. One would think that McCain and the GOP would have already picked apart Gov Palin, from her personal life and her family life, to her record as a politician and previous work history. That they would leave no stone unturned, that they knew everything there was to know about Gov Sarah Palin. That they would be strongly prepared for her critics on any number of subjects because they already KNEW about any hiccups in her career or personal life. That they would already know about any possible weakness and be able to counter questions and reassure the nation that they knew she was the right choice.

No one lives a a perfect life and when the stakes are this high, when the future of the nation is at stake you would think that the McCain camp and the GOP would have done their due diligence on such an important matter. So that when the Media went to town to find out all could find out about this virtual unknown, that they were prepared to answer to their selection.

one would think.... that's not what happened.

It appears as if the GOP didn't vet Gov Palin at all. Sure maybe they "did a Google" but she's got a much more checkered political record then anyone would have thought. She's got family issues most notably with her unwed pregnant teen aged daughter, an ongoing ethics investigation into abuse of power allegations as Alaska Gov, she's connected to a Pentecostal (ain't they they snake handlers?) almost radical church that believes in the Rapture and advocates converting gays into heterosexuals though the power of prayer, shes NOT highly educated (5 colleges in 6 years) and is very inexperienced when it comes to politics. The GOP seems to be unprepared to answer to any of these inquiries. In fact in a 60 day campaign McCain spokes people have said she will not be speaking to the press for at least 2 weeks (they are spending this time to teach her the basics of foreign policy, OMG)

It seems as if McCain didn't "do his homework" he didn't vet his running mate and it's biting him on the ass on a daily basis. What scandal will come out today, about Gov Palin that the McCain camp wont know how to answer to because they are finding out just as you and i are.

A curious potential client would do more research on finding the right hooker then McCain did in selecting the person to be a mere heartbeat away from the presidency.

You gotta love the GOP

Radar Blows It Again

I was gonna leave this one alone on my blog since I've been commenting on it all over the innerweb on other blogs and on the article itself but I've been getting a lot of email so i thought i would pony on up with some thoughts on radars latest look into the sex for cash biz.

As some of you know i enjoy Radar Magazine, I've been Quoted in it, I've worked with a writer there on another possible upcoming story but the last couple of "hooker" oriented stories makes me wonder... what the hell happened to Radar? First they publish a mean spirited bunch of drivel making up a premises for Ashley Dupree's new reality series, written by top misogynist Alex Balk. He writes of the "whores" with such spittle vigor you'd think he had a personal stake in it, or maybe just not enough Mommy love as a child.

Then Radar publishes the latest bit of wonderment about the sex for money biz titled "Secrets of a Hipster Hooker" it supposedly a first person look at the high end hooker game in NYC, where the author crosses the line and attempts to turn a trick but runs out on the client in the end (yeah i know spoiler) I swear you have a more honest look at the sex for money biz watching Harold Robbins' mini series 79 Park Avenue. I've been all over the web commenting how this fluff and turn piece is just a bunch of made up BULLSHIT.

Other blogs of note are also commenting on Radars latest guffaw and have some interesting takes on the piece, making great observations. Susannah Breslin of The Frisky says "the realities of sex work are far too hardcore for most aspiring “hipster hookers” to handle" and she couldn't be more right.

Monica of the Spread Blog goes into depth and just tears it up, in the process makes a keen observation I think the idea of putting yourself out there as a (possible) consumable piece of merchandise is gratifying, and talking about in an article is in many ways an attempt to publicly confirm your fuckability

Even the Valley Wag gets into the mix, Melissa Gira Grant reports on it by saying "She went it at like a novelist-wannabe temp showing up for a stint as a file clerk".

Most of these tend to give the writer the benefit of the doubt and play along with her story as if its real. I still think its total and complete bullshit. Salon talks about how she wrote this piece and then shopped it around. I think they mean watched a lot of Showtime and did a little innerweb blog search, read a romance novel or two then wrote it and shopped it but hey thats just my take on it.

You think that any media outlet buying it would either...
a) Label it the fiction it is
b)FACT CHECK IT

But nooooo then how would they get their made up view of hookers. All of us making 300,00 bucks per year and keeping our money in gold bars (doesn't everyone have a stash of gold bullion?) carrying 1,000 handbags and having great high powered day jobs. All our clients are the wealthy, young, rich, banker types who lavish us with tips in original art work by recognized artists. Then once again they force feed us the same old tired bullshit to justify and explain why young ladies get into sex work.... its empowering. ahhhhhh BULLSHIT.

Peridotash ex-escort and current Domme has a recent blog entry where she asks sex workers the Three top reasons they do what they do.. No surprise the number one answer... MONEY. Empowerment is the fantasy justification as to why some women choose to fuck for money. Its the same old line of bullshit, "its not the money, its the sex", "I'm not money motivated...I'm just horny" :::giggle:: :::hair flip::: Anyone who has honestly talked to a hooker when shes getting off her 4th trick for the day and he was a smelly, small dicked, pushy, weasel of a man who kept tuning her nipples in like they were radio dials until they were sore, will tell you... that the empowerment angle, is utter and complete bullshit.

I have to hand it to Radar they really out did themselves on this one.. F minus!

Double, Double Toil and Trouble

Double sessions are tiring. Now you would think and i feel most people do believe that being as there are two fun, sexy, hot chicks sharing the "work" that duos would be less tiring then doing them alone, one on one. I am not buying into that urban myth as i sit here, muscles still sore for the last evenings activities. With a double session there are three bodies trying fit into the sexcapade puzzle and let me tell you its often very much like making puzzle pieces fit and that can be havoc on the bod. I mean have you ever tried to get your face upside down and your mouth on a mans balls while on your knees as your girlfriend/partner is blowing him and not get yourself smacked in the face by her bobbing head all while balancing in some half awkward squat, with a smile on your face like its really the bomb diggity? Then doing it again 90 minutes later with an even shorter guy and an even more strained position?

let me tell ya the dont call it sex "work" for nuttin.

True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes

I officially said good buy to a life long friend today, though in my heart there will never really be a good bye. I cried as people ive known since i was 7 and 8 years old stood up and recounted how my friend had touched their lives, i was way too much of a wreck to speak myself, I just couldn't do it.

He touched my life in so many ways and he was instrumental in my development as a creative person. I will never forget him and his influence on me is strong. I am a better person for knowing him but i am terribly sad tonight and my heart is a little more broken and beat up today then it was yesterday.

The first of pleasure...

Little sprinkles of light twinkle though the leaves and vines intertwined in the brown wooden slats that cover my tiny quaint multi-colored patio. Espresso made from real southern Italian beans linger on my sun kissed lips. I squint as the light is blocked by the man before me...

"il mio cuore è pieno" i whispered in his ear as he bends down to touch my cheek and his hand drops to my exposed breast. More of me was full a few moments back then just my heart but alas...i digress.

I lean back and think about the long summer days and how i got here on this patio with plump ripe grapes hanging above my head... and close my eyes and bask in the sun for a few more minutes before i have to dress for a fancy formal diner.

"non sono fatto con lei ancora" i say in Cosentino... your sly smile tells me you understand my broken Calabrese dialect and approve of my sentiment.

I am a very lucky girl.

The photo of the grapes was taken by yours truly

Gettin Phished

It happens sometimes, usually its some dim witted bacon and donuts type that thinks I'm going to express in a private IM conversation that i will do XXX sex act for XXX dollar amount. I wont on the phone, or email and they want to do an end run around, thinking that i'll some how incriminate myself in an IM. Good luck on that one. The men in blue have a specific way about them and I'm always extra cautious anyways, i find them out pretty fast. Plus they could never pass screening and i ALWAYS screen.

The other day i got phished and i first thought i was a a man in a uniform, but then it took a turn that made me believe it was someone just fucking with me, looking for personal information about yours truly. This person who was "new to the hobby"knew too much, for someone "new" they ask pointed questions under the guise of being a fumbling newbie. Like i would somehow give them some kernel of personal info i don't give out to potential clients. That i would slip up and give them the little golden nugget they were looking for... AS IF.

My favorite portion of this fleeting online conversation was when he told me how nice i seemed in an effort to butter me up when i was being a reserved, suspicious, non responsive, bitch. yeah dead give away...

oh well seems my "fan club" is still out there with too much time on their hands, i hope they enjoyed my bad spelling and bitchy attitude!

Crotchless panties and grandmas pearls

6 years to the day today you left the earth and its also the day you were born, my little firecracker. You are always with me on firecracker day. My thoughts are always of you and how you always made me laugh until my face utterly hurt, the crazy adventures we went on in the middle of the the night causing trouble in a small coastal town in California. Wearing monkey pajamas on the street and acting like everyone else was dressed like a freak, getting me searched and almost detained trying to get back into the U.S. because you couldn't stop singing at the boarder crossing! Offering to knock me up after i went crazy after the pinto bean died inside me, just to make me happy and smile again. How miraculously you produced soup, the only thing i wanted and couldn't shut up about, none of which we had in the house. Dancing to some loud rhythmic house music, two bowls of beef with barley balanced on both hands as you twirled into the living room at 7am in the goddamned morning.

You were not longed for this world, you were too good for it. You lived everyday the best most creative way you could even after you got sick and you always meant and still do mean so much to me. From that first day we met when you pretended to be the host of the party i ended up at and dragged me into the bedroom to take Polaroids, write captions and mock "the patio people". To the last time we spoke when you knew the end was near and you told me you loved me and had a moment of clarity to say good bye.. kindred spirits, two of a kind, peas in a pod? naw.. more like two balls in a bag. You loved me for me and you never faltered from that. You did your best to protect me from the illness that ravaged your body and brain, though i wish you would have let me in a little more to take care of you but i understand why you didn't.

So my dear Firecracker today is your day, the day the world produced you and the day it took you back and i will don my grandmas pearls, my best crotchless panties, drink to much and think of you as i swim in a pool of hookers and porn stars. I know you'd love that and if you were here you'd be right there with me egging me on to do something that would take us one step from the nut house or jail.

I miss you my long lost friend and where ever you are I'm sure you are twirling, laughing and being the center of attention as well you should be.