How to never get a reference from Jenny DeMilo

Part of being an escort that cares about other escorts safety is being reference friendly. What that means is an escort will ask a potential client for another lady he's visited to vouch for him. The potential client gives the new lady the contact info of the lady vouching him and then she emails her asking for the reference.

I've been reference friendly since I began as an escort, I'm always happy to help a lady and a client out by doing my part to keep everyone safe. I rarely have an issue, the ladies I've dealt with when I requested a reference have pretty much been polite, responsive and friendly. Of course I know that they are doing me a personal favor by giving me the reference and I make sure when contacting them that I show my appreciation, making sure to give them all the info they will need, including my own so they can verify my legitimacy. Making it as easily as possible for them. They are not required to do me this favor and taking that approach has worked like a charm. I pretty much never have issue getting references from other escorts.

When giving out a reference I have on a few occasions had to ask ladies for additional information but not very often. Usually its from a new girl. I just ask for more info, she gets to me then I'm able to help her out. I never give a reference if I'm not 100% sure of who shes asking about. Which brings me to today's issue. I finally had my first problem trying to help another girl out with a reference. Yeah i said in giving another girl a reference I had an issue trying to help her out.

Some escort emailed me asking for a reference, I was not at home where I could access the info she needed but I wrote her back right away from my iPhone telling her I wasn't near the info and that id get it to her as soon as I was able to get back home. When I got home I was able to verify the info and give her the reference. So I got back to her with the thumbs up on the client in less then 5 hours.

Next I hear from my client that he had used me as a reference but the girl was saying I never got back to her and was there an issue with me vouching for him? Since i had responded to the only reference i got for him, I asked him to tell her to send in the request again. I was the same girl she sent in another request and this time I cc'd the client with my vouch so he would know I got back to her. This time I was able to get her the reference within the hour.

Today a week later, I heard from her a third time asking her if it was my policy not to give references, as "a few potential clients" had given me as a reference and I hadn't gotten back to her. I wrote her back AGAIN and told her I had given her the references. I thought maybe her email wasn't working correctly because she had never responded to any of my return emails to say thanks (like most girls do) and i had cc'd the only client she asked me about and he responded so he know I vouched for him. I went to her website, filled out her contact form and told her I had sent in the refs and for her to check her hosting and spam folder.

I never heard back from her regarding the web form email, so i gave her a call to let her know there was an email issue. Not being anywhere near a work phone I had to call from a blocked number and figured if I got voice mail I would leave a message. To my surprise she answered the blocked call. it went like this....

ring ring...
Her: CAN YOU CALL FROM AN UNBLOCKED NUMBER!!
Me: I cant this is Jenny DeMilo you asked me for a reference
Her: click

Yup she hung up on me. She asked me to do her a favor, then she hung up on me. I called back and left her a not so nice voice mail telling her to stop telling clients I didn't reference them that I had and her email was fucked up.

This whole incident really got under my skin so I waited a bit figuring she would get the voice mail realize the blocked caller was another escort she wanted a reference from and I gave her another call. She yelled again upon answering the blocked call and before I could say "do you want the reference or not" she hung up on me. So i called a third time left her a voice mail telling her she had a lot of nerve and to not ask me for any favors in the future.

Then the emails began from her. I swear this bitch is crazy, she sent me several chastising emails. Really? You ask me for a favor, I do that favor and you email me and scold me? So my response was short and sweet something to the affect of don't contact me again and ask for any favors, you crazy bitch, I might have suggested she get off the pipe too.

I don't know where some people get the nerve. I know a lot of cracked out crazy whores are attracted to this business but I usually am able to steer clear of them, at least I try to. This crazy ho took the cake. I thought clients had entitlement issues, this twat was worse then any client who thought I owed them something for nothing.

umm well you dumb cunt, I don't owe you shit your emails are now banished to the cornfield... fuck you and happy holidays :)

But, but, but .. you're a whore!

So I've been reading the hooker message boards and zeroing in on this months latest trend. Men upset that the "whores" wont service them. But you're a whore you HAVE to see anyone who will pay you. You don't have choices because you're a whore. You cant refuse me for being a entitled ass hat because you're a WHORE

whore whore whore whore!

I'm quite sure i know what it is a do for a living, i mean i am the one fucking strangers in hotels for greenbacks but thanks for the reminder. The real question is, what is up with these guys? Have they been refused by the "whores" a lot? doubtful, my guess is they are the guys who when they were young men maybe in high-school maybe when thy were a little older who's greatest fear with women was/is... rejection.

They feel powerless, they are not comfortable engaging women in a real way and have eventually found themselves in the pay for play game. Because they feel that when they pay they have the power and the fact that a WHORE could reject them is one of their greatest fears. To get rejected by a women who gets paid to be there is so scary to them that they go on a rampage on message boards to try to get though to these whores and their supporters they they whores shouldn't have a choice so that they will never be in the position to be rejected by one. So they act out anonymously on message boards because if they used their real"handles" they whores might not see them so they have to do it from behind a mask and berate the whores, incite them men who generally like the whores and stomp their little feet and gnash their little teeth.

if it didn't get so tiresome or wasn't so pathetic, I'd find it funny.

it can be hurtful no matter how thick your skin is to be denigrated by a segment of a community who really should be more supportive since they engage in the same activities be it on the other side of the fence. Sex workers are often terribly put down by society we are not accepted and its disheartening when we are not accepted by our own. it can grate on you and often does.

I'm sure I'm just being an uppity whore.

Julissa...

A sex worker in Boston is dead. She was killed by a potential client who's it is believed has been robbing ladies in Boston for a while. When this young women fought back he shot her in the chest several times and left her for dead and die she did. This was in a nice hotel in the Back Bay in Boston. Boston is a city I've been to on tour and will go back to.

Some specifics: she advertised "massages" on Craigslist, she was a young and beautiful girl and by all accounts this was her secret life. Her name was Julissa Brisman.

They have connected this murder to two other robberies (one just a couple days after he killed Julissa) though i know this man has robbed more then just two women. Hes been on the radar of ladies in the area for a while, he is young attractive blond man of about 6 feet tall. And according to a CIA profiler i saw on the news hes on a "spree" he wont stop until caught.

Over a year ago really closer to two years now, in California there was a guy who was beating, robbing, choking out countless sex workers and leaving them for dead. He finally seceded in killing a girl in orange county. I personally knew one girl who was badly injured and knew though the web two others who were attacked and beaten. It wasn't really on the news, the local industry message boards didn't seem to really care and kept removing warnings about the guy with some lame excuse about protecting their own liability. Meanwhile girls were being hurt.

The guy was finally caught.

When the Boston story broke, It was the lead in teaser for my NBC LOCAL 11pm News here in L.A. The actual story was about 15 minutes into the evening news after the first break. They didn't say the girls were sex workers they said they put "racy" ads up on Craigslist. So that's how the media here in LA was first framing the story.

I found it strange that it was on my local news but not unhappy about the word getting out. I don't know why this story is getting national headlines, i don't know if the media is more tolerant of sex workers because in the last two years we've been more public. There's a major studio movie coming out about sex workers, (The Girlfriend Experience) Showtime had their second season of Secret Diary Of A Call Girl. Not to mention there are interviews and articles popping up showing sex work in a more positive light and not always as drugged out street walkers with pimps who are wearing their childhood abuse on their sleeve. Oh and of course prop K in S.F. That brought a lot of attention to the sex workers as normal people movement.

The guy in Boston was likely targeting sex workers because he felt that they wouldn't be able to go to the police. Also he had access to women alone he could over power. It's what we all fear and why we have safety precautions, screening process and safe calls. We have to know who it is we are seeing, there are many men out there who balk and are uncomfortable giving up their personal info and many who will berate you for just asking for it, they don't understand why they need to give up their info just for the opportunity to spend time with a pretty girl but Julissa's tragic death underscores why we ask for it.

Our lives could depend on it.

Entitlement begins its consuming grind

There are rules for ad postings on message boards about hookers. They all vary to some degree or another but there are rules. Escorts must adhere to such rules or risk banishment and lose the ad venue or be subject to ridicule and public scolding by those tho know the rules inside and out. The rules are often hard to find.

I've been noticing a trend on several boards, Hobbyists (johns, tricks, clients whatever you want to call them) posting derogatory insulting comments on a escorts ad thread. The slant seems to be "you charge too much, don't you know there's a recession!!" with a good portion of "you fucking whore" implied though some don't imply the last part but come right out in say it. Classy.

A recession? really? wow i was too busy doing my nails and playing with my perpetually wet snatch to watch the news or pay attention to the world around me to notice, you don't say.

The escorts I KNOW all knew about the recession long before the disgruntled nasty comment backlash started or before the word was uttered on the evening news. Escorts are more tuned in to the ebb and flow of cash flow then any other business people i know. Seriously, they really are.

What amazes me is how these disgruntled message board cry babies think that by brow beating some escort trying to make a living by hanging her shingle out (the ad thread) will work. As if suddenly the lady is going to say oh yeas Mr. anonymous troll let me give you my services for free because i know how hard it must be for YOU out in the real world. As if WE don't live in the real world too. Its the sense entitlement i don't get. Not the disappointment that they cant afford to pay for prime pussy, i understand the disappointment. I get disappointed too when i cant afford something i want. I either forgo it or save up for it. I don't go into Tiffany's and bitch the sales people out because theres a recession on and they should lower their fucking prices because I NEED to wear that bracelet. When in actuality i don't. I can easily not wear it, just as these message board shit talkers can easily not fuck a whore.

They feel entitled to publicly bitch and moan, they try to get other shit talkers to join the fray, they try to get the lady to join the fray. If she does try to defend herself they further attempt to say "see that nasty whore doesn't deserve to get paid, cuz shes got a the nerve to defend her business" oh and they bash any male who thinks being a loud mouthed rude prick on a message board makes all hobbyists look bad.

I see this going a couple ways, its going to get worse as more men who used to be able to easily afford to screw escorts realize that they can less and less if at all, so the disgruntled will become more vocal. I also see the ladies not sitting back and taking it, its harder out there for everyone and yes that includes escorts. When you get limited access to advertise and that advertisement is sullied by some angry little man and his personal financial issues, it very likely will lead to more ladies not taking the high road and waiting for next weeks ad to go smooth but to taking on these shit talkers head to head.

So its going to get a lot nastier...mark...my...words...

Pre-Occupied And Stuff

I've been remiss with my blog postings because I'm obsessed with the upcoming presidential election and focusing on that. I hope many of you out there in the blogesphere are too and are prepared to vote your conscious on Nov 4th. To not do so, makes you a very bad American. Couple my political obsession with the fact that It's fall and my escort business is heating up (as it always does this time of year) and the fact that I'm shooting like made for my day job and well, i know , i know excuses, excuses but there ya have it...

So in light of my neglect here are some things i thought i would bring to your attention:

Swop Chicago did a great little video about Knowing your rights as a sex worker. Its aimed Chicago providers but its got info that all sex workers should check out as well as some awesome role-play reenactments and rad cop glasses...poor bubbles

h/t Vixen of the Spread Blog

Sex workers in TJ are getting charged more for STD and HIV testing. its being called "immoral and scandalous" by Victor Clark Alfaro, director of Tijuana’s Binational Human Rights Center. It also could increase the risk of spreading STDs, as many girls may try to forgo testing to save on expenses. Think about that next time you wanna hop the boarder for a super cheap piece of ass

Both Brad Pitt and Google Step up in support of NO ON 8! the California proposition trying to overturn the the rights of gay couple to marry in California. If Google and Brad can do it so can you, NO ON 8!

Planned Parenthood says its received $802,678 in donations in Sarah Palin's name. The Viral email campaign started a couple weeks ago when emails started to circulate on how to make a donation to Planned Parenthood in the Name of the conservative VP candidate who doesn't believe in a woman right to choose.

You can make a donation at this link
Have them send the card in Sarah Palin's honor to:

McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street 1st Floor
Arlington , VA 22202

On the subject of the GOP MaCain says "horseshit" during the debates which makes him the first candidate in a televised debate to use profanity.

On Bob Cescas Goddamn Awesome blog there is a particularly great comment by a deaf lip reader "FrictionSoul " who breaks it all down for you. Im all for cursing but not during a presidential debate. Does that mean when McCain disagrees with some head of state he's gonna go ape-shit lose his cool and curse at him? Yeah that's great diplomacy.

I prefer to leave my cursing for this blog and for when I'm getting fucked really, really good...usually from behind ;)

Radar Blows It Again

I was gonna leave this one alone on my blog since I've been commenting on it all over the innerweb on other blogs and on the article itself but I've been getting a lot of email so i thought i would pony on up with some thoughts on radars latest look into the sex for cash biz.

As some of you know i enjoy Radar Magazine, I've been Quoted in it, I've worked with a writer there on another possible upcoming story but the last couple of "hooker" oriented stories makes me wonder... what the hell happened to Radar? First they publish a mean spirited bunch of drivel making up a premises for Ashley Dupree's new reality series, written by top misogynist Alex Balk. He writes of the "whores" with such spittle vigor you'd think he had a personal stake in it, or maybe just not enough Mommy love as a child.

Then Radar publishes the latest bit of wonderment about the sex for money biz titled "Secrets of a Hipster Hooker" it supposedly a first person look at the high end hooker game in NYC, where the author crosses the line and attempts to turn a trick but runs out on the client in the end (yeah i know spoiler) I swear you have a more honest look at the sex for money biz watching Harold Robbins' mini series 79 Park Avenue. I've been all over the web commenting how this fluff and turn piece is just a bunch of made up BULLSHIT.

Other blogs of note are also commenting on Radars latest guffaw and have some interesting takes on the piece, making great observations. Susannah Breslin of The Frisky says "the realities of sex work are far too hardcore for most aspiring “hipster hookers” to handle" and she couldn't be more right.

Monica of the Spread Blog goes into depth and just tears it up, in the process makes a keen observation I think the idea of putting yourself out there as a (possible) consumable piece of merchandise is gratifying, and talking about in an article is in many ways an attempt to publicly confirm your fuckability

Even the Valley Wag gets into the mix, Melissa Gira Grant reports on it by saying "She went it at like a novelist-wannabe temp showing up for a stint as a file clerk".

Most of these tend to give the writer the benefit of the doubt and play along with her story as if its real. I still think its total and complete bullshit. Salon talks about how she wrote this piece and then shopped it around. I think they mean watched a lot of Showtime and did a little innerweb blog search, read a romance novel or two then wrote it and shopped it but hey thats just my take on it.

You think that any media outlet buying it would either...
a) Label it the fiction it is
b)FACT CHECK IT

But nooooo then how would they get their made up view of hookers. All of us making 300,00 bucks per year and keeping our money in gold bars (doesn't everyone have a stash of gold bullion?) carrying 1,000 handbags and having great high powered day jobs. All our clients are the wealthy, young, rich, banker types who lavish us with tips in original art work by recognized artists. Then once again they force feed us the same old tired bullshit to justify and explain why young ladies get into sex work.... its empowering. ahhhhhh BULLSHIT.

Peridotash ex-escort and current Domme has a recent blog entry where she asks sex workers the Three top reasons they do what they do.. No surprise the number one answer... MONEY. Empowerment is the fantasy justification as to why some women choose to fuck for money. Its the same old line of bullshit, "its not the money, its the sex", "I'm not money motivated...I'm just horny" :::giggle:: :::hair flip::: Anyone who has honestly talked to a hooker when shes getting off her 4th trick for the day and he was a smelly, small dicked, pushy, weasel of a man who kept tuning her nipples in like they were radio dials until they were sore, will tell you... that the empowerment angle, is utter and complete bullshit.

I have to hand it to Radar they really out did themselves on this one.. F minus!

Double, Double Toil and Trouble

Double sessions are tiring. Now you would think and i feel most people do believe that being as there are two fun, sexy, hot chicks sharing the "work" that duos would be less tiring then doing them alone, one on one. I am not buying into that urban myth as i sit here, muscles still sore for the last evenings activities. With a double session there are three bodies trying fit into the sexcapade puzzle and let me tell you its often very much like making puzzle pieces fit and that can be havoc on the bod. I mean have you ever tried to get your face upside down and your mouth on a mans balls while on your knees as your girlfriend/partner is blowing him and not get yourself smacked in the face by her bobbing head all while balancing in some half awkward squat, with a smile on your face like its really the bomb diggity? Then doing it again 90 minutes later with an even shorter guy and an even more strained position?

let me tell ya the dont call it sex "work" for nuttin.

Gettin' it all done in time

A girlfriend and i were talking about appointment lengths, she was considering extending her 1 hour to a 90 min minimum she was having issues with getting in everything within the allotted hour. It reminded me about another working girl friend of mine who says she knows exactly how much time has lapsed in an appointment to within a couple minutes. She's not looking at a clock or a watch or anything, she's just really good at perceiving time.

Time is always an issue, no one wants a "clock-watcher" but this is a timed event so there is a balance to achieve and a skill to getting everything in within the hour. I think I learned how to manage my time well when i was working in advertising. You had so much to do and so little time to get it done but you also didn't want to look like you were panicked and flustered. That would only come back to bite you in the ass a million different ways in that nasty world.

With a client you need to be able to converse, charm, flirt, make out, get oral, get down, relax, chat and give it a second go, all within one short hour. That's a lot to do in 60 mins but its not brain surgery, its sex and human interaction. Some clients make it easy for ya, they are charming, flirtatious and ready to go go go. Others are nervous and awkward and you need to gently coax it out of them. The real job here is to get clued into what the clients expectations are early on so that you have enough time left to meet them, or in my case attempt to exceed them. yeah yeah, I can't help it I'm an overachiever. If you are observant and looking you will find those cues and clues hunt them down like youre Nancy Drew and once you figure them out you're good to go. then getting all the highlights in in time is easy.

Once in a while i might go over time because i lose track of it. Yes, i can can fall victim to a charming man once in a while or i get so entranced by an interesting conversation or person that i realize the times almost up and i haven't even gotten naked yet. A certain fascinating malpractice attorney comes to mind, i will of course stay over to make sure i leave my companion a happy, happy man. For the most part an hour is plenty of time to get it all the required high notes in, the more you do this the keener your sense of time gets. I went over a lot more then i was just starting out and still in the middle of the very big learning curve then i do now. With any job the more you do it the more efficient you are at it. I personally prefer a 2 hour or longer tryst with my gentlemen callers because then the pressure if off entirely to cram everything in a hour time frame, its easier to just go with the flow...

...cuz if you cant seduce a ready and willing man in 2 hours, well you got bigger issues then managing your time!

Stop your bitching!

Stop your god damned bitching about giving out references to other escorts. I see that happening a lot lately and I'm sad to say its always a provider who's been in the the biz for few short months, who think shes knows it all, seen it all, and is the only one being asked to hand out references for Clients. We all can get a little miffed if a client is constantly using only us as a reference, i can understand that. I have a client who i saw one time who uses me as a reference on a weekly basis. If I'm having a bad day, then yeah i can get a touch annoyed. I know he's seeing other girls because i have referenced him for them but he only uses me when seeking appointments with new ladies.

Then i thought about that for a second. I am a well know escort, i have a solid reputation and i can be verified though many boards as a legit escort. OF COURSE he's going to use my reference, my references makes other girls feel comfortable because it carries a little weight with it.

Its really an honor, not the annoyance i once saw it as.

In this business screening is EVERYTHING. I need to know I'm seeing a safe and sane gent who's not going to slap on me a pair of steel bracelets when i walk though the door. It's not only a professional courtesy to give a reference to another lady to let her know a gent is safe to see, its good business. I also need to ask for references. You give what you get in the life... and especially in this business. So stop your complaining like you're the only bitch in town who spends a few minutes a day doing her part to make another sex worker feel safe. Because you're not, your just the latest to whine about it.